Medley of Randomness

 okay, so i’ve been gone for a while, so of course now i have a medley of randomness, bottled up for you in the vast expense that is my mind. (i have nothing better to put in it.) i shall now transfer it from my mind, to this blog. beware, as this process has been known to get out of control.

okay, so my first rant is about AIRTRAVEL:          *oooo… ahhhh…*

okay, so of course to get to my grandparent’s house for the holidays we had to fly there right? so normally we fly midwest express. midwest express and i pretty much have a love affair going on. i mean, between the fact that every seat on that plane is pretty much 1st class, and the fresh, warm, chocolate chip cookies, whats not to love? unfortuatly, this year my dad booked us seats on… *shudder* airtran… he explained the decsion as “only for this year” and justified it with “frequent flyer miles” this, and “two free tickets” that. and not only was this trip to be made on airtran, but there was going to be a stop in atlanta before we switched onto a different plane to make it all the way to our destination. and of course, because, well, this is fate we’re talking about, the first plane is late, and dad is grouchy because we’re going to miss our second plane. when we get off the first one, we ask one of the worker people if our second plane has left yet. he says no. now, try to image all the different ways he could have ended this sentence. lets list them, shall we? let’s see, there’s

you still have plenty of time

dear god you’re going to miss it, don’t even bother trying to catch it. or,

who the hell knows, they just hired me because i’m gay, and boy, you lookin’ fine.

now, all these are perfectly acceptable. but does he use any of the above acceptable answers? i don’t think so. he says, and i quote:

“RUNNNN!!!!!!!!!”

apparently we caught the plane literally ten seconds before it was going to leave. i credit this to dad’s full out sprint through the airport, which included some slow-montion trippage on my sister’s part.

there are two things i would like any reader to take from this story. (1) the flight attendant person could have gotten on those stupid walkie talkies they carry around, and told our plane to wait. instead he told us to run. therefore, he is a turd king of turdsylvania. (2) there are not enough calories in those stupid little pretzels to fuel a full on sprint through an airport. you know the pretzels i’m talking about? those ones they give you on a plane and you could swear they are just giving them to you because they want to get them away from the flight attendants after one of them got radiation poisoning from handing them out? and you’re not hungry, and you don’t even like them, yet some how you always end up eating them anyway? yeah, i knew you knew what i was talking about.

so i know i promised a medley, but this post is already getting pretty long, and i’m supposed to be taking a shower, so i’ll continue this medley later.

 

so stay tuned

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